


what happens at AMF, stays at AMF

by lincesque



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Crack, Do Not Take Seriously, Fluff, Gen, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-29
Updated: 2012-02-29
Packaged: 2017-10-31 21:55:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/348752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lincesque/pseuds/lincesque
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AKA that one time where Erik and Charles (+ X-men) thought defeating Shaw (+ cronies) via a bowling competition was a brilliant idea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	what happens at AMF, stays at AMF

**Author's Note:**

> Written [and posted] originally for the XM:FC Kink Meme prompt [here](http://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/3115.html?thread=4797227#t4797227).
> 
> I have no excuses. Ahahaha. Ha. >.>

The scoreboard reads '254' for Team Shaw and a measly '101' for Team X. Or rather, it would read like that if Alex hadn't taken out the electricity (and half the bowling alley) 15 minutes into his first game with an Angry Laser Blast of Doom (TM).

Charles takes another bite of his hotdog and briefly considers altering everyone's memories so that the team scores are reversed. Emma glitters at him dangerously from where she sits, directly opposite. He retracts that thought rather rapidly.

Near the lanes (mostly intact, minus the odd light fixture and ceiling debris), where Armando and Angel are lining up next to each other, balls at the ready, Alex and Sean have their heads bent together.

It doesn't bode well.

"That is not a good sign." Erik is obviously thinking the same thing, settling onto the seat next to Charles, eyes narrowed at the two boys.

Charles leans towards Erik in a bid to get a clearer view, sweeping his fingers over Erik's knee absently.

Erik responds by sliding an arm around his shoulders, pressing them closer together. They're both still staring at Alex and Sean, Charles raises two fingers to his temple out of habit.

There's a sudden tinkling noise, like glass beads being dropped into a vase, and they both turn in sync to see Emma giving them an unimpressed look, the sound coming from where she's tapping her glass of lemonade with a diamond finger.

"I'm sure the bathroom stall is free at this time." She tells them.

Erik tenses and looks like he's about to do something suitably nasty (possibly involving the table, the salt shakers and that strange twisty statue in the corner) when a veritable explosion happens at the bowling lane.

"That's cheating!" Sean's voice is pitched almost loud enough to shatter glass as the sound of pins dropping to the polished wood echoes about the half roofed area.

Emma is suddenly back in her human form.

Charles pushes Erik's face out of the way in time to see Alex stalk up to Janos, who is smirking behind Angel, and shove him. Hard.

Or so he would've if Azazel hadn't sudden popped in, taken Alex and then promptly dropped him four lanes away.

Angel shrugs one shoulder, twirling a strand of her hair smugly. "You weren't screaming like a girl about cheating when you _blew_ your ball for a strike." She points out.

There's a loud clap as Shaw reappears from god knows where (and neither Erik nor Charles want to, really). "Play nice." He admonishes his team, flicking a sly glance towards Charles and Erik. "Do try to keep your children in line."

Alex snarls and bats away the hand Armando offers him to help him up. "We're not kids."

He turns to Azazel and eyeballs him. "You are so on."

Then he proceeds to corner Hank and drags him off in the direction of the bathroom.

Emma's cool gaze follows Hank and Alex but her words are aimed at Charles and Erik. "Oh. Too bad. I guess you two will have to keep your hands to yourself, lest you scar your precious children."

Charles slides his hand higher up Erik's leg in silent retaliation.

*

"That is totally against the rules, dude." Sean hasn't shut up since Alex and Hank vanished.

Mostly, its due to the fact that without Alex, who actually has the muscle to fling bowling balls in a perfectly deadly trajectory (sometimes at their opponents), and Hank and his notes on gravity and angles and Newtons of force needed (god, Sean _knew_ that there was a reason he should've paid more attention during maths. Or was it physics? Whatever.), Sean and Armando are kind of, vaguely outmatched.

Which is a nice way to say that they are getting their asses handed to them by a demon and his boytoy (and neither Sean nor Armando really wanted to think to much about _that_ relationship).

Erik and Charles are no help, sitting in a relatively undamaged spectator area. The flickering neon sign claiming to serve the _'Best Hotdogs in the Country'_ illuminates them and Shaw and Emma in a weird pinkish glow from time to time.

Raven kicks her bowling shoes against the floor and hides a yawn behind her hand. She hasn't actually touched a ball yet. Angel sits beside her and flips carelessly through the most recent issue of Cosmo she pulled out of her bag the instant the boys started being well, boys.

Azazel teleports back to where he was standing, just before the foul line, and admires his strike. He's not missed once and is well on the way to a perfect game.

Then again, it wasn't hard when you were pitching a ball at some pins from 10cm away.

"So long as the foul buzzer doesn't sound, he's still playing by the rules." Janos points out, grinning from ear to ear, and picks up his own ball.

The ball's polished to a high sheen and has Janos' name stamped proudly all over it in glittering gold. (He's also had it customized to match his eyes.)

Sean sulkily lobs another ball towards his pins. It gutters horribly. He scowls and opens his mouth in a frustrated scream which promptly knocks all of his pins over. And all of Janos' too.

"Dammit!"

Janos raises one eyebrow and studies his cleared lane for a moment. Then he puts his bowling ball carefully back onto its three hundred dollar holder and holds out a hand.

Azazel hi-fives him.

*

They're on the last frames when Hank stumbles out of the bathroom covered in scrapes and bruises (and were those burn marks?) and proceeds to collapse in an untidy heap next to Raven, who scrunches her nose and moves away. Just a little.

"Ew. Boy germs."

Hank splutters and Raven inches a little towards Angel. "Sorry Hank, nothing against you, but more..." She waves one hand towards Alex, who's finally decided to reappear, chest thrust out all the better to emphasize the power channeling disk on his shirt, looking a whole lot more smug.

Charles straightens in his seat and clears his throat. "Alex, I don't think that's..."

But it's too late as Alex narrows his eyes and gathers his energy, blasting through Janos' prized bowling ball.

There's a moment of frozen silence before Alex whoops loudly and thumps Armando on the back.

Shaw looks mildly interested. "Oh dear."

Charles sighs and rubs at his temples, heroically resisting the urge to cover his face with his hands.

Erik has no such qualms, he just thunks his head onto the table and wishes the world to hell.

Emma raises her glass and clinks it against Shaw's.

"Finally, some entertainment." She murmurs, just as the first of Janos' whirlwinds blow past like a howl of vengeance.

 

*

Charles is not happy. This is clear to see as his brow is furrowed and his mouth is down turned and everything.

They are back at the Westchester estate, finally, and gathered in one of the communal sitting rooms for this particular 'discussion'.

But his displeasure is nothing compared to Raven's howling fury as she throws any object she can get her hands on at the four boys in front of her.

Armando tries a general protest since he wasn't actually involved but gets a fork to his head for his troubles.

"... and if you could've just held out for a minute longer, I could've finished my quiz _and_ read my horoscope for the next week." She snarls.

All four of them hunch, trying to make themselves as small as possible, sufficiently cowed.

"Enough." Erik steps in.

Raven backs off a little, still fuming, but is seemingly appeased enough for the moment.

Erik and Charles stand shoulder to shoulder and survey their young charges.

 _What did I ever do to deserve this?_ Charles bemoans directly into his mind, even as his stern expression doesn't waver outwardly.

 _Finders keepers._ Erik thinks back at him before clearing his throat.

"So. What have you learnt from today?" Erik asks, gaze traveling from Hank (mostly unharmed, since he was smart enough to throw himself under Armando once the shit hit the fan), to Alex (who is clearly the most injured of the lot, with scrapes and minor cuts and a magnificent black eye forming, courtesy of Janos, who took bowling and his bowling ball _way_ too seriously), to Sean (who can now only speak in croaks and his hair is singed from where Angel spat acid at him) and finally to Armando (who sits completely unharmed outwardly, but might be traumatized for life after this particular experience).

There is silence.

Then Alex raises a cautious hand, as if he were answering a question in class, and eyes Raven, half in respect and half in terror. "Um. Not to get between girls and their Cosmo?"

The sound of Charles slapping his face against his hand is startlingly loud. _Are you sure we can't just... give them back?_

Erik puts a gentle hand on his shoulder and shoos the children away. They slink from the room, silently and in a hurry, as if terrified they'd be subjected to another lecture.

 _You've forgotten one thing: you can't return defective goods._ He informs him, just a little wistfully.

Charles turns towards Erik and leans his forehead against Erik's broad chest. He sighs. _Pity._

Erik runs his fingers through the shock of brown hair soothingly. _Don't worry. When we take over the world, we can sic them on Shaw as punishment._

Charles leans upwards and presses a gentle kiss against Erik's lips, smiling. _I'll hold you to that._

*

(end)


End file.
